I post this here for your enjoyment...

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I post this here for your enjoyment...

Postby LrdVoldemort on Wed Jul 27, 2005 10:52 am

In case Blizz whacks it for some stupid reason. Originally posted on the warlock forum:

I posted a partial version a while back, but I completed it...

The Succubus
with apologies to E.A.Poe

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and with rez sickness,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of Grimoire of inferno--
While I nodded, nearly rezzing, suddenly there came a PvP tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my instance door.
"'Tis some ganker," I muttered, "PvPing at my instance door--
Only this and nothing more."

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its spirit upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow;--vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow--sorrow for the lost grimoire--
For the rare and radiant tome whom the demons name Grimoire--
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each instance curtain
Thrilled me--filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
"'Tis some ganker entreating entrance at my instance door--
Some late ganker entreating entrance at my instance door;
This it is and nothing more."

Presently my soul link grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
"Sir," said I, "or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was rezzing, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came PvPing, PvPing at my instance door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you"--here I opened wide the door--
Swirly Darkness there and nothing more.

Deep into that portal peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortals ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, "Grimoire?"
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, "Grimoire!"--
Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the instance turning, all my sour within me burning,
Soon again I heard a ganking something louder than before.
"Surely," said I, "surely that is something at my portal lattice;
Let me see, then, what thereat is and this mystery explore--
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore;--
'Tis general chat and nothing more.

Open here I flung /PvP, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a skanky Succubus of the bondage days of yore.
Not the least decency made she; not a minute stopped or stayed she,
But, with mien of lord or lady, checking her nails beside my instance door--
Slapping her a$$ just beside my instance door--
turned invisible, and paused, and nothing more.

Then the steamy girl beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and busty decorum of the countenance it wore,
"Though thy chest be full and buxom, thou," I said, "art sure no librarian,
Ghastly grim and beautiful Succubus wandering from the Nightly felportal--
Tell me what thy lady name is on the Night's Durotar shore!"
Quoth the Succubus, "Oooh uhhh ah. <slap ass>"

Much I marvelled this unmoral demoness to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning--little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living warlock being
Ever yet was blessed with not seeing succubus beside her instance door--
Demon or beast checking her nails beside her instance door,
With such name as "Krakthun"

But the succubus, floating lonely with that buxom bust, spoke only
That one word, as if its soul link in that one word she did outpour
Nothing farther then she uttered; not a bat wing then she fluttered--
Till I scarcely more than muttered: "Other demons have flown before--
On the Wyvern she will leave me, as my soulshards have flown before."
Then the succubus said "Oooh uhhh ah. <slap ass>"

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
"Doubtless," said I, "what she wields leaves mobs lashed and sore,
Caught from some unhappy master, whom unmerciful disaster
Followed fast and followed faster, till her whips one burden bore,---
Till the dirges of her hope that melancholy bore
Of "Oooh uhhh ah. <slap ass>"

But the succubus still seducing all my sad soul shards into reducing,
Straight I mounted a dreadful steed in front of Krakthun , that busty wh0re;
Then, upon the HP sinking, I betook myself to soul linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous demoness wh0re --
What this grim, bondaged, voluptuous, horned and ominous demoness wh0re
Meant in croaking "Oooh uhhh ah. <slap ass>"

Thus I sat engaged in PvP, but no gutterspeak expressing
To the demon, whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the dreadsteed's saddle lining that the Paladin gloated o'er,
But whose dreadsteed saddle lining with the Paladin gloating o'er
She shall seduce, ah, <slap ass> evermore!

Then, methought, the lag grew denser, latency from a bunch of unseen rogues
Swung by spirit healers whose footfalls tinkled on the tufted floor.
"Wretches," I cried, "thy ganks hath struck me -- by these spirit healers he hath
Sent thee respite---respite and nepenthe from thy memories of my grimoire!
Quaff, O quaff this healing potion, and forget this lost grimoire!"
Quoth the succubus, "Oooh uhhh ah. <slap ass>"

"Succubus!" said I, "thing of evil!--Succubus still, if doxie or demon!
Whether warlock summoned, or whether Archimonde portaled thee here ashore,
Desolate, yet all undaunted, on this Blasted lands enchanted--
On this world by horror haunted--tell me truly, I implore:
Is there--is there a ritual of Doom in the Blasted lands?--tell me--tell me I implore!"
Quoth the succubus, "Oooh uhhh ah. <slap ass>"

"Succubus!" said I, "thing of evil--Succubus still, if doxie or demon!
By that Rogue that /spits above us--by that Pally shield we both abhor--
Drain this soul with sorrow laden, if, Shadowburn and Death coil timers faded,
I shall slay a demonic lord, whom will drop the doom grimoire---
Clasp a rare and radiant tome, whom the warlocks name grimoire?
Quoth the succubus, "Oooh uhhh ah. <slap ass>"

"Be that word our sign of parting, doxie or fiend!" I shrieked, upstarting--
"Get thee back into the portal and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black leather as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! -- kill the rogue nearby my instance portal!
Cause little hearts to rise, and seduce thy form from my instance portal!"
Quoth the succubus, "Oooh uhhh ah. <slap ass>"

And the succubus, always flirting, still is slapping, still is slapping
On the shapely rump of hers just besides my instance door;
And her eyes have all the flirting of a demon's that is hurting.
And the rogues o'er her spurting throws his corpse onto the floor;
And my soul shard from out that corpse that lies floating on the floor
Shall be spirit rezzed---evermore!
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